THIS IS THE RECKONING

This is it, ladies and gentlemen. D-Day, February 10th, 2008. I'm watching this unfold with baited breath; simply spectacular displays of humanity and justice. There's been a decent showing of support for Anonymous and what they stand for; and the Australian protests have ended, to great effect. Here's a slideshow commemorating the events. By the way, this is the only proper use of this song. Ever. EVER. I mean that. The song is shit. But this is for a noble cause. I'll put my internet posturing away for a day in observance.

Meanwhile, I'm watching the London raid live as of 3:52 AM PST and it's pretty incredible. There's a parking complex of some sort across the street from the Scientology Org, and it's FULL of people chanting and picketing and generally fighting the good fight. At the same time there's raids going on in Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Italy, and so forth. There will be a small gap between the London raid and the raids in New York and Clearwater, which promises to be an amazing time. Clearwater has hired at least 10 off-duty cops to help control Anonymous should they get rowdy.

I promise more info as it becomes available. Rock the fuck on, Anonymous. Rock the fuck on.

EDIT #1: Anonymous addresses the Media, clearing some (really fucking retarded) misconceptions:




So incredibly intelligent.

EDIT #2, circa 11:45 PM: As D-Day '08 draws to a close, there is a lot to report about and a lot to reflect back on. Through the works of the Internet and the abilities of those involved, it has turned into a truly epic day. But first, what happened.

The London protests came to a close in spectacular fashion, with lots of support all around. For the most part it was a bit more on the silly side than most would have liked with lots of retarded memes being bandied about, but the good was done. People were educated. The BBC got involved... then Rolling Stone Magazine got involved, conducting an exclusive interview with one of the brainchildren of this whole thing, a beautiful Anonymous we owe Enturbulation to. Should prove to be a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, the rest of Europe was mostly a bust, due to adverse weather or political conditions, though Ireland had some amazing turnout. They really enturbulated their thetans, enough to necessitate a counter-protest. Even France got in on it, with Nono the Clown. Way to go Frenchfags!

Not much happened between there and the US, but I have to tell you, the US pulled it off with some amazing style. New York City had an incredibly impressive turnout, boasting over 250 Anons in attendance. The cops were for the most part on their side as well, everyone stayed behind the barricades, all was quite well. Score one for Anonymous on American soil.

Washington, D.C. had an excellent time of it, over 200 people showed to do what people do best in the capital: Protest their little hearts out. Lots of good came of it, as well as cake in memory of Lisa McPherson, whose birthday would be today if she was still alive. Granted, the cake itself was in slightly terrible taste (sporting an airbrushed design of her autopsy photo), but the message was heard loud and clear. The man himself, Arnie Lerma was there and couldn't have been prouder. And in a surprise twist, an amazingly strong young woman stepped forward and told her tragic tale of her father, who was a Scientology "minister" for 25 years before finally hanging himself 3 years ago because he felt he was so trapped. For three long years she had remained silent, but Anon gave her the strength to step forward, and she told the crowd, over 200 brave and compassionate strangers, her painful story. There is help out there for her.

Down south, Atlanta had quite the ride. Over 100 people peacefully protest the church from across the street. What do they do? Call in motherfucking riot police. Seriously, guys, isn't that a bit much for a peaceful protest?

And then, of course, ground zero. Clearwater, FL, home base for Scientology International and the resting place of the Ft. Harrison Hotel. It was truly an epic event, pulling in the anons from Tampa and Miami both to protest things on their own home turf. The hotel was more or less shut down as over 400 anons surrounded the building and protested. The people of Clearwater had had enough, even the news was for the most part on their side. Step 1, yeees.

Meanwhile, our friends in the great white north of Toronto rocked it out with over 200 people despite temperatures well below freezing. These guys were the troopers, staying out for hours, trading off signs between each other when their fingers went numb, doing everything they could to stand together as one legion against the freezing masses and educate. My heart goes out to these brave souls. Rock, Rock On!

The protests swept across the nation, traveling ever westward across the Midwest. Farmington, MI, Kansas City, Indianapolisand Cincinnati all sported well over 150 people a piece, spreading out thousands of fliers and cards and pamphlets out. Epic Win rocks the Midwest like a hurricane mixed with a tornado mixed with a plague of really annoying chirpy early-morning birds, though Columbus had some hardships with a bus... 2 Anons injured, one hospitalized, though there was no malice or tampering that anybody can see. Just a bizarre accident. Though that raid was still pretty awesome. And let's not forget the Texans, who managed to land some nice news time. Way to make it big, Houston.

A little closer to home, Seattle really rocked the house with over 250 people showing up to protest the Church and all it stands for. They got some really awesome media coverage as well, even though they had to travel to where the people were to be most effective. If I was still living in Seattle, you bet your ass I would've been there, wearing an awesome mask, a snappy 3 piece suit, rallying the troops and raising hell for the Co$. Come rain, sleet, or blood, i would have been there to show my support and rickrolling with the best of them.

But the big one was in Los Angeles. There was some confusion over this one, as there was so much ground to cover, but it was nothing less than a massacre, in a good way. Anonymous was out in full force, though the best thing I can do is give you a snippet of the raid report:

We arrived at the Complex at 11:00 sharp. There were already about 100 people there. We could not picket across the street because the sidewalks were blocked off, so we picketed on the same side of the street as the "church". Well, there was one security guard on a bike that was circling the parking lot. I have seen him before and I'm pretty sure he is a Scientologist. There were a few others hanging around, but it really looked like Co$ bussed their staff out of town for the day and hired some guards from a security company. They must have been really nervous! The Police were circling constantly, but there were no problems. Also, there was a mysterious Ice truck with tinted windows that parked close to us. It certainly looked like a tricked-out OSA-mobile. I'm sure they were recording and filming everything. We'll find out if anything shows up on RFW.

In addition to Anonymous, there were many old-time critics there: Tory and Mark, of course, Michael Pattinson, Graham Berry, Myself (I hope I'm not missing anyone). Mark Ebner showed up on a Scooter and circled around for awhile.

The public was great -- lots of honks of support and thumbs-up. People were handing out flyers to the stopped cars -- the Anonymous guys were really energetic and would not hesitate to run across Sunset to do this. About 12:30 we began circling the complex before heading to the HGB (Hollywood Guarantee Building where the L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition is housed). I noticed that the windows of rooms where the staff is housed had been completely taped over, blocked out with white sheets taped to the windows. They must have stayed up all night! We're talked 8 floors, about 200+ windows that had been sealed off from the outside world. Did I say they were nervous? Scared shitless is more like it.

Warmed greatly, noted ex-Clam and rabid Anonymous supporterTory Magoo spoke her joy and admiration via video for all Anonymous to hear:



Thank you, Tory. And thank you, Anon. Truly today was a great success, but it is only the beginning. I am simply amazed at how well this worked, that nobody got so stupid that fights were started. The police were always cooperated with, even in Chicago where the protest was disbanded due to a mix-up filing the permit. I am astounded that no Anons got arrested, whereas two Scientologists (one in Adelide, Australia and one in Boston) were put in the clink. We've reached out and touched some people and saved at least one life, perhaps countless more. As the news outlets race to get the story out locally, perhaps they'll all look up and realize this was truly a global outreach (I'm looking at you, NPR) and people who aren't necessarily Internet savvy will begin to look up and wonder and learn. This is only step one, however. We have to keep the ball rolling. Perhaps if the weather is good I can head over the mountains and attend the raid in Seattle on March 15th to celebrate Hubbard's jowly birthday. I hear there's promise of non-offensive cake!

Thank god for the Internet.

Post The First: Wherein Life Begins

To begin with something like my life up to this point or an introduction would be saccharine. It would be an illusion, a cocoon of meat, a twisting, parleying mound of excrement that neither accomplishes substance nor provides understanding. And it all falls into the domain of physical social constructs to begin with, niceties that have no place in the virtual world nor should develop. With a flick of the fingers and a dance of text we can convey everything we'd ever hope to say without ever being in need of preface. So I'll skip it.

It would appear that the virtual world that we've come to love is starting to spill over into the real world, the automation struggling against its reins and attempting to drive the cart of life in its own direction. I don't know about you, but I for one embrace this; I'm loving every minute of what's happening. The best example I can give is what's happening between the aptly-named Anonymous and the Church of Scientology. Taken on their own, neither group is particularly noteworthy or deserving of any praise or malice; for the most part, they're rather ignorable, truly contributing little to what's happening around them.

Anonymous began much as they remain: An ever-growing gaggle of idiots utilizing stolen Japanese software to shock their friends, harbor their grudges, trade all sorts of strange and disturbing pornography, and basically jerk each other off through the wonders of the Internet. 4chan is the single most popular group of Anonymous, being the original American group of geeks and dweebs who stole the most beloved of Nihon Softuwaru: The Imageboard. Here, they proceeded to expose massive amounts of people to the beauties of Goatse, Tubgirl, Lemonparty, and then began introducing their own. Lots of jockeying and maneuvering trying to get others to download gray-area child porn and creating a breadth and depth of image macros, internet memes, retarded sayings, catchphrases, and in-language that before this time there has never been a society on the face of this planet so dedicated to retarded exclusivity. It's one of those things that you either 'get' or 'don't get'... win or fail, tits or GTFO, the language is all the same. Despite its humble beginnings, however, it has exploded into an internet phenomenon, currently rated 299th most-traveled website in the whole internet according to Alexa. That's a lot of geeky 12-year-olds.

4chan, however, spawned its own revolution. Thousands of splinter sites exist, each filling a different niche that 4chan itself can't or won't pander to. They are slower, but more specialized, their userbases less inflated, the pseudo-social bonds stronger. The Overchan is a veritable cornucopia of anything you'd like (or wouldn't like) to see, cataloging not only just about every -chan that has or ever will exist, but also a few spin-off imageboard sites such as AnonIB. And it's here, in these niches and alcoves of the Internet, that the Anonymous I'm going to talk about is drawing their real power. 4chan merely lends a publicly accessible, easily-identifiable face and focal point to the Anonymous world power.

On the other side of this quorum, you have the Church of Scientology. These guys have been around for years, and their influence is strange and varied. Started by pulp sci-fi writer and rotting corpse L. Ron Hubbard in 1953 on a drunken bet after everyone pissed on the blarney stone and called it good. A Scientologist will tell you that the church aims towards "a civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where man is free to rise to greater heights." When in reality, there is lots of evidence to the contrary. Through the use of hypnosis, various mind-control techniques, rudimentary induction of Stockholm Syndrome, and even murder, their numbers have swelled worldwide, and the cult continues to flourish. Such well-regarded (ahem) names as Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Ghandi, Hitler, Mother Theresa, and Urkel all proudly fall under the Scientology banner. Fortunately, my man Will Smith dodged that particular bullet, would that we could all be so lucky.

So why the hubbub over a bunch of celebrities and a cult that's been around since the 50s? Issues of legality aside, the CoS has done a lot of really really nasty stuff since its inception. Most notable in 1976 was Operation Freakout, where Hubbard's wife and 11 other Scientology operatives were attempting to infiltrate various Government buildings and organizations, including the IRS, to gain information on their detractors and defame and discredit them, most notably the author Paulette Cooper for the scathing book she wrote against the CoS 5 years prior. The fortunate thing is that Hubbard's wife and those working with her were caught and arrested, though the damage had been done. The church gained even more press in 1982 after it was found that Hubbard had embezzled over $200 million from the Church of Scientology.

I'm going to type this again.

In 1982, it was found that Hubbard had embezzled over $200 million from the Church of Scientology.

Fortunately he died in 1986, a coward in hiding. Though his Church followers would claim that he simply "discarded his body" to do "higher level spiritual research", and now resides on "a planet a galaxy away". The most interesting thing about his death, however, is the fact that Scientology is where it is today. Most cults fizzle out when the leader sheds this mortal coil; however, the Church of Scientology has only gained popularity since, and boasts a total membership of over 8 million followers worldwide.

But I'm not here to talk about all of that and what it entails; there's lots of great websites that do a spectacular job of laying the facts -- no more, no less -- out on the table.

I'm much more interested in talking about the conflict itself. Remember earlier how I mentioned that Anonymous was actually made up of thousands of people across a number of splinter groups dotted around the world? This is important. These various groups of Anonymous are an amazing and varied bunch. The main hub -- those found on 4chan's /b/ -- are mostly mindless, a group of hyperactive, nerdy teens with too much time on their hands and severely crippled social skills. But they're smart, and their numbers are impressive. All it really takes is a few charismatic and focused people to get them to begin to mobilize and act -- and these are the other Anonymous, the different sect, the close-knit, knowledgeable few that understand not only how the Internet works and how Anonymous works, but how best to apply that strength. This upper-crust, the mobilizers, like to call themselves /i/nsurgents after the /i/nvasion board originally of 711chan (now deceased). Their track record is rather impressive, hitting targets from the sprite-chat program Habbo Hotel all the way up to retarded pundit Hal Turner, with varying degrees of success.

Now, they've turned their sights on the CoS, and for good reason. It's not often that I say this, but I support Anonymous on this. They've done their research, and they're mobilizing quite well. Their collective effort, known colloquially as Project Chanology is very impressive, sporting a number of plans over a plethora of avenues. Their efforts have polarized the internet, and garnered attention on a national level; XenuTV.com's Mark Bunker (a longtime opponent of Scientology and most of what it stands for) has been interviewed by various radio and TV stations... even the BBC is getting in on it, sending correspondent John Sweeny to do some field investigations on the Church and what it's about, only to be assaulted.

There's raids planned for the 10th of February, all over the world, where members of Anonymous are going to go to various church or "org" sites across the globe and picket the CoS's methods and hopefully help some of the members who are feeling trapped. I'm not in a place at the moment where there's an Org nearby that I can show up at, but you can bet your ass that I'll be here, watching and cheering.

Fuck Scientology. Anonymous is legion.